When people ask, Part 2

Several weeks ago, I shared some of the most uncomely comments I’ve fielded over the past 3 years from would-be “new” men in my life. *

While I’ve navigated the weird and murky waters of post-divorce, modern-day dating, my own journey has been through several grief cycles of despair turned to hope, turned disappointment, and back again. I had to intentionally chart my path of becoming a “better” me. It’s not been easy, fast, or fun - but I highly recommend it - and I have (very) recently acknowledged that I am in what seems to be a lasting phase of “maybe I can” in terms of having a healthful relationship with someone new and better. 

As I have grown, I've taken notes, which are now a framework of my relational values - the hope-fors and some deal-breakers. This blog is my space to put my conscious self, so as follow up to what I posed as intolerable 6 weeks ago, I give you Who I am and What I am Looking For:

1. I believe everyone has inherent worth.

2. I value communication.

3. I celebrate redemptive change.

4. I embrace individuality.

5. I will not enter or remain in a relationship that is worse than singleness.

6. I do not tolerate abuse.

7. I expect forthrightness.

8. I require mutual respect.

9. I believe careless words are honest words.

10. I reject gesture in lieu of genuine.

11. I seek connection, not nervousness.

12. I knowingly bring all that I am into the relationship.

13. I do not conflate attention and attraction.

14. I do not stay if I do not care.

15. I will not knowingly be used or manipulated.

16. I believe partners should align on family and religious values.

17. I own my mistakes and expect the same.

18. I value relational equality and equity.

19. I believe in love that grows with time.

20. I take only as much as I give.

    
    

    * OP https://amy-lane.blogspot.com/2019/04/when-people-ask.html