Have you ever been to a party where everyone else seems to know several people there, but you know only the person you came with, or the host of the event? What an awkward time that is. Oh, sure, you try to make conversation with people you meet at the punch bowl, but that rarely amounts to more than a name-exchange. Then you're left, standing on the sidelines or hunched over your table, alone.
Why do I bring up these awkward, lonely moments?
Because I feel like I am perpetually in one.
18 months ago I stepped into a world I knew pitifully little about. I met 80 classmates (a.k.a. "peers" or "rivals"). I became immersed in this world of law school, tracking days by what I needed to do before the ever elusive "tomorrow," reading and/or writing nearly constantly, taking increasingly brief breaks to eat or sleep.
At first, I felt alone in that world. But everyone else there was just as alone as I was, so I had some solace in the indirect camaraderie.
Now; however, I feel lost in a different space. I'll generalize it to "anywhere that is not related to law school." That looks even worse in print than it sounded in my mind ... but let me explain.
At some point during my first year, the movement of time outside of my class schedule turned into a grey haze. I have no idea what is on television each day, or what shows are on the air. I read a couple fiction books last year, but I don't remember their plot, or most of the characters' names. I happen to know it is an election year, but not much beyond that. I imagine performers still come to my city and put on concerts, etc., but I don't know who, when, where, or why I would want to go.
While this ancillary knowledge has fallen by the wayside, I have attempted to maintain decent contact with the "real people" in my life.
I have a small list of family members and friends I make every attempt to talk with at least once a week. But, this isn't ideal ... I am also "friends" with people who live within 15 minutes of my house with whom I may interact once in three months (if that). I try to stay in the know on life events, interests, etc. of my closest family members; but I have several I could say little about beyond their name. And I don't even know most of my in-laws' names ...
I often feel like the lonely person in a crowded room ... lonely because I am so focused on a single set of goals that I have little to offer anyone in the room, so I make only slight advances on their time and space. And the room is crowded .. with bustling movement of everyone else tending to their lives.
I think, however, many of the other people bustling about the room feel the same way that I do. Like me, they are standing on the sidelines or hunched over tables, busy about the business of life. And, what is sad is that many, who are in the same space feel alone.
But, I will put this forward: We feel alone, not because we are, but because we are not interacting with each other.
The next time I meet someone at the proverbial punch bowl, I will offer more than a half-hearted nod and my name. Maybe I won't walk away alone. And, maybe, neither will they.
Showing posts with label simile. Show all posts
Showing posts with label simile. Show all posts
trudging
One of my favorite scenes in the movie "A Knight's Tale" (an excellent movie) is where the character Chaucer declares he is "trudging."
As he defines it, "to trudge: the slow, weary, depressing yet determined walk of a man who has nothing left in life except the impulse to simply soldier on."
This may be the best description of the second year of law school.
Halfway through the program; can't go back to "normal" (life before/without law school) ... and wouldn't want to. Can't quite see the finish line, but pushing on in hope that it comes.
Yep, trudging.
As he defines it, "to trudge: the slow, weary, depressing yet determined walk of a man who has nothing left in life except the impulse to simply soldier on."
This may be the best description of the second year of law school.
Halfway through the program; can't go back to "normal" (life before/without law school) ... and wouldn't want to. Can't quite see the finish line, but pushing on in hope that it comes.
Yep, trudging.
a little common courtesy, please
In the 1990s, a show called Full House kept kids like me entertained in the afternoons. Each 30-minute episode involved some caper that taught a life-skill or moral lesson.
My favorite character was the middle child, Stephanie, because of her direct commentary on the world around her. A regular observation was "how rude" - usually in response to someone's action (or inaction) that caused her to feel left out, overlooked, or tromped on.
In honor of Stephanie, and her no-nonsense approach to surveying her surroundings, I offer the following courtesy requests:
On elevators ... We are all in a hurry. Few, if any, people enter an elevator without a specific end-point in mind. This does not relieve you of some responsibility to 1) identify whether the elevator you enter is going in a direction the coincides with your needs before entering it, 2) diligently try to not step on people as you enter or exit the box, 3) pretend to be aware of some level of personal space within the box - your personal space includes a bubble around any bag(s) or child(ren) you may be carrying, and 4) when you exit, refrain from gabbing about other passengers' smell, attire, or personal life ... at least until you are out of their hearing.
On hallways ... generally speaking, many people apply road-rules to hall travel. Walk on the right. Give some indication that you are stopping (such as slowing down) before halting abruptly in a crowded thoroughfare. Move out of the way if you need to take a call, talk with a person, address a map or guide, or ponder the issues of the world.
On interactions ... It is not appropriate to be sugar-sweet to everyone all the time - especially if its fake. It's bizarre to interact with someone who is ridiculously sweet one day, and a monster the next. Even if your "average" is a little more 'monster' than you'd like, at least try to be consistent.
All I want to say with this brief look at common courtesy is that, amazingly, small tweaks in behavior create spans of difference in the receiver's perceptions and response. It is usually just as easy to be kind, or minimally considerate, as it is to be harsh.
If you've got more instances of "how rude" moments, or anything else you'd like to share, leave a comment :)
My favorite character was the middle child, Stephanie, because of her direct commentary on the world around her. A regular observation was "how rude" - usually in response to someone's action (or inaction) that caused her to feel left out, overlooked, or tromped on.
In honor of Stephanie, and her no-nonsense approach to surveying her surroundings, I offer the following courtesy requests:
On elevators ... We are all in a hurry. Few, if any, people enter an elevator without a specific end-point in mind. This does not relieve you of some responsibility to 1) identify whether the elevator you enter is going in a direction the coincides with your needs before entering it, 2) diligently try to not step on people as you enter or exit the box, 3) pretend to be aware of some level of personal space within the box - your personal space includes a bubble around any bag(s) or child(ren) you may be carrying, and 4) when you exit, refrain from gabbing about other passengers' smell, attire, or personal life ... at least until you are out of their hearing.
On hallways ... generally speaking, many people apply road-rules to hall travel. Walk on the right. Give some indication that you are stopping (such as slowing down) before halting abruptly in a crowded thoroughfare. Move out of the way if you need to take a call, talk with a person, address a map or guide, or ponder the issues of the world.
On interactions ... It is not appropriate to be sugar-sweet to everyone all the time - especially if its fake. It's bizarre to interact with someone who is ridiculously sweet one day, and a monster the next. Even if your "average" is a little more 'monster' than you'd like, at least try to be consistent.
All I want to say with this brief look at common courtesy is that, amazingly, small tweaks in behavior create spans of difference in the receiver's perceptions and response. It is usually just as easy to be kind, or minimally considerate, as it is to be harsh.
If you've got more instances of "how rude" moments, or anything else you'd like to share, leave a comment :)
Bruno Mars and me - we're tight.
I was going to write a blog post today, but I simply don't have anything planned to say, and I don't want to put a lot (or any) effort into writing something you may want to read. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy writing on my blog and I hope a few people read my ramblings ... but today I can relate to Bruno Mars: I just don't feel like doing anything.
waiting for grades is like planning a wedding
I love weddings. Most people who know me also know this. Some know that I have been to approximately 30 weddings in the past 7 years. That's a lot of presents, driving, and cake.
I appreciate the wedding day, but also, all of the stuff in a couple's life leading toward the wedding day.
For many, that day they will invite the largest number of their family, friends, and acquaintances to a single event in their lifetime. And most have never done anything like that before. Some have never been to a large event before attempting to host one.
Thus, in the months, weeks, days leading to the event, every decision, potential disturbance, or bit of good news turns into a life-altering emotion-filled moment. Anyone who has hosted, been to, been in, or otherwise attached to a large-ish wedding knows what I mean.
Now, since this blog is about law school ...
Take those wedding-related emotions and try to apply them to the course of time law students spend waiting for letter grades each semester.
There is nothing the law student can do to affect the grade once s/he steps out of the exam, but the emotions of anticipating each grade to drop in the online portal (because it would just be too easy to post all of them at once...) are heart-pounding.
And, of course, based on academic status, the questions rolling through each student's mind vary: "Will I keep my scholarship?" "Where am I eligible to intern next semester?" "Will I grade on to law review?" "Will I be invited to an honor society?" "Can I stay in SBA office?" "Will I stay in law school?"
Even if the grades come back and they are better than anticipated, the agony of the wait is harrowing, the high emotion with each posted grade thrilling.
And so, we wait ....
I appreciate the wedding day, but also, all of the stuff in a couple's life leading toward the wedding day.
For many, that day they will invite the largest number of their family, friends, and acquaintances to a single event in their lifetime. And most have never done anything like that before. Some have never been to a large event before attempting to host one.
Thus, in the months, weeks, days leading to the event, every decision, potential disturbance, or bit of good news turns into a life-altering emotion-filled moment. Anyone who has hosted, been to, been in, or otherwise attached to a large-ish wedding knows what I mean.
Now, since this blog is about law school ...
Take those wedding-related emotions and try to apply them to the course of time law students spend waiting for letter grades each semester.
There is nothing the law student can do to affect the grade once s/he steps out of the exam, but the emotions of anticipating each grade to drop in the online portal (because it would just be too easy to post all of them at once...) are heart-pounding.
And, of course, based on academic status, the questions rolling through each student's mind vary: "Will I keep my scholarship?" "Where am I eligible to intern next semester?" "Will I grade on to law review?" "Will I be invited to an honor society?" "Can I stay in SBA office?" "Will I stay in law school?"
Even if the grades come back and they are better than anticipated, the agony of the wait is harrowing, the high emotion with each posted grade thrilling.
And so, we wait ....
the 1L lindy
If you were so inclined, you could search on-line and find hundreds of step-by-step guides, videos, etc. to help you learn the Lindy Hop. By reading these instructions and watching others move, you could learn the sequence of steps generally accepted in this area of dance and memorize them.
But, even reading the best instruction manuals or watching world-renowned dancers would not teach you the Lindy. The steps in Lindy are important, but they are more like formulaic stilted movements than "dancing" if not paired with the atmosphere, music, and people of a dance event.
How much do I care about the Lindy Hop? Well, probably more than I should, but that's beside the point. The point is that what is true of Lindy is also true of those wanting to be successful professionally, and in life.
In law school, we read constantly (constantly) and we work hard to figure out the right "steps" in our course work. But, it is possible that we exert so much energy alone hovering over our books that we forget that the "dance" of lawyering is about the people we interact with.
Just as the Lindy Hop is only as good as the people on the dance floor's willingness to move to the music; our experience will be only as fulfilling ("good") as our willingness to work with the materials in our environment.
But, even reading the best instruction manuals or watching world-renowned dancers would not teach you the Lindy. The steps in Lindy are important, but they are more like formulaic stilted movements than "dancing" if not paired with the atmosphere, music, and people of a dance event.
How much do I care about the Lindy Hop? Well, probably more than I should, but that's beside the point. The point is that what is true of Lindy is also true of those wanting to be successful professionally, and in life.
In law school, we read constantly (constantly) and we work hard to figure out the right "steps" in our course work. But, it is possible that we exert so much energy alone hovering over our books that we forget that the "dance" of lawyering is about the people we interact with.
Just as the Lindy Hop is only as good as the people on the dance floor's willingness to move to the music; our experience will be only as fulfilling ("good") as our willingness to work with the materials in our environment.
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