In August 2018, I moved from Jacksonville Florida to Knoxville Tennessee. Here’s how it happened.
In 2017, I realized that I had journeyed as far as I could into healing from my divorce within the construct I was in. Years before, I had taken a job at the same place as him. We both thoroughly enjoyed our work. But two years post-, we were both still there. We were rarely required to interact, but we would regularly see each other. I also lived within 10 minutes of him.
I struggled to distance myself emotionally and intellectually from someone who, geographically was still there. In order to preserve my sense of security, I had secluded myself, and it wasn’t making me better. I was sadly alone and utterly exhausted. Seeing that I would remain in constant cycles of sad unless I made drastic changes, I decided I would have to move - and that moving to another part of town or to a different job, or even doing both, was not enough.
So I set about making a plan. I made a list of several cities I had heard of or visited that seemed like places I may want to live. I then narrowed that list based on research into culture, climate, and community.
My top 10 cities, in no particular order at the time, became:
- Knoxville, Tennessee
- Raleigh, North Carolina
- Dallas, Texas
- Atlanta, Georgia
- New Orleans, Louisiana
- Washington, DC
- New York City
- Tampa, Florida
- Charleston, South Carolina
- Savannah, Georgia
In mid-2017, having pared my list to the top 7, now listed in order above, I spent a month road tripping to visit each one. During that trip, I let myself enjoy (or not) the energy wherever I was. I learned about myself and the cities I may move to. That trip narrowed the list to the top 3. I then spent several months asking questions, of many people I know and some I don’t, about their thoughts and experiences with each of my top picks.
In early December 2017, I had decided that when I moved, Knoxville would become home. I set a general timeline of “sometime in the next couple years”.
Then February 2018 happened. A series of events prompted me to acknowledge that I had already spent enough time evaluating, and the time was now to actually do. Long ago, I adopted the notion that I can do anything so long as there is a timer. Instead of running out the clock, run at it. My goal became that by August 17 I would no longer be in Jacksonville. So I set my timer, then ran at the clock.
Thus began an incredibly full self-directed 5 month period. I made several trips to Knoxville (which was 550 miles away) to learn the area and apply for work. I found a new job that would agree to hire me upon my move. I hired a moving company and packed up my home. I wrote changeover documentation for my job and helped to hire my replacement.
On August 8, my furniture was loaded, and on August 10, I left my job of 5 years, and the state I have always lived. I started my new job on August 13. The lease on the apartment I now live in started August 17, and my furnishings arrived August 21. For 10 days I was a guest either in a hotel or some incredible friends’ home. For another 4 days, I slept on an air mattress in my new home.
I am writing this about 100 days later. Because that’s how long it takes to set up housekeeping and figure out new routines, learn a new job and a new city, and become comfortable enough to look backward and see landscape rather than plow relentlessly through checklists. I have started to make friends and have something that loosely resembles routine. I can drive to the places I regularly go without GPS. Today it snowed, which I watched comfortably from my living room window.
2018 has been one of my favorite years in recent history. Not because it was easy, but because I decided to put myself in a better situation, and then I did.