A year ago my life seemed too big to handle, and someone told me that I am brave. Until then I had never thought of myself as brave. Contemplative and strategic, always. Scared and risk averse, ... Unfortunately, yes. But definitely not brave. It was the most lovely compliment I could imagine .. and I immediately rejected it.
But then I started to think about what it means to be brave. And I've thought about it a lot.
Some say I am brave because I enjoy sky diving and roller coasters, public speaking and engaging in debates I may not win.
But I think bravery is much more consistent than the occasional terrifying activity. Also, it's much smaller and less visible.
Bravery is truly tiny. Tiny daily decisions to face whatever unknown life may bring with quiet confidence. To accept that "past me" knew what she was doing when she set in motion whatever series of decisions led to where I am now. And to trust in "future me" to carry forward.
The adrenaline inducing, hugely exciting moments are perhaps indicators of bravery, but a brave heart is quiet and steady, resolute but open, confidently still while hopeful and ready to move forward.
Am I brave? Maybe. I hope so. I'm starting to think I am, or that I can be. And maybe that is enough - just enough - brave for today.
No comments:
Post a Comment